The Insiders
by WinchesterLover
Summary: What happens when our favourite Greasers drink some beer that gives them super powers? Obviously they become a group of superheros known as 'The Insiders' and fight off evil crime! /Parody/


**A/N:** Kay so, this is a story that i've been planning on writing for a little while now and i just decided to write it now because i got bored and needed something to do. Unlike my other Outsiders story, _Mending Hearts_ (which i haven't written in like forever, so if you read that story, i'm sorry) this story is a parody and is pure humour. It should not be taken seriously. So please enjoy this first chapter of (hopefully) many more!

**disclaimer:** i don't own The Outsiders or any of it's wonderful characters.

~

**The Insiders**

**Chapter One **

It was a quiet Friday night at our house. I was reading one of my books, Darry was watching TV after a long day of work and Sodapop was inventing a new card game that no one but Soda himself understood.

Suddenly, the front door was thrown open, and Two-Bit came waltzing in, holding a rather large box. "My friends," he said, setting down the box and opening his arms wide. "I come bearing gifts."

"What are you talking about Two-Bit?" Darry said, turning away from the TV.

"What is that?" I asked, putting down my book and moving toward the box on the ground.

Two-Bit quickly stepped in his way. "That will be revealed when the rest of the gang is present."

"You didn't steal anything, did ya?" Soda asked.

Two-Bit looked offended. "Do you really think I'd do something like that?" No one said anything.

Darry stood up then and broke the silence. "I'll give the guys a call to get them over here so that we can see what Two-Bit brought over."

When the whole gang was finally at our house, Two-Bit gathered everyone into the living and stood up, holding what he had brought with him.

"This, my friends," he said, holding the box up high, "is a box which contains seven beers."

"Are you serious," Dallas exclaimed, standing up from the couch. "I came over here for a beer? I could have had twenty down at Buck's."

"Yeah, Two-Bit," Johnny piped in. "What's so important about some beers?"

"What's so important?" Two-Bit asked. "What's important is that there are seven cans of beer in here."

"So?" Steve asked, slightly annoyed.

Two-Bit put the box on the ground and pointed at it. "Seven beers." Then he gestured to himself and the gang. "Seven of us." Everyone gave him a look. "Am I the only one who understands this miracle?"

"What miracle? You bought seven beers," Soda said.

"Correction: I _found _seven beers."

"So you _found_ seven beers," Darry said. "What's so great about that?"

Two-Bit sighed. "Let me explain. See, I was out walking –can't remember where I was going- and I passed by that construction site and I see this box. So I go over and open it and see seven beers inside and then I think how there's seven of us and then an idea came to me. Seven of us, seven beers – I should share these with the gang." Two-Bit smiled with joy at his story. "Don't you see, this was meant to be!"

Steve shook his head. "I say we all drink this beer just to make him happy."

"Sounds go to me," Soda agreed. They each took a beer.

Dally leaned towards the box and took one for himself. "Since I'm already here…might as well." And then Johnny followed suit. Two-Bit took the next one, and then Darry.

"Dar," I said. "Can I have one too?"

Darry shook his head. "You ain't old enough."

"Neithers Soda."

"He ain't in school."

"But tomorrow's Saturday."

"Come on Darry," Soda said. "It's just one beer, let him have one." The rest of the gang pleaded with him too.

"Alright," Darry said, defeated. "But just this one. And only because it's _fate_." Two-Bit smiled at this.

I gleefully took the last beer and then in unison, all seven of us opened their tabs and took a large gulp.

The next day, I woke up on the couch with a major headache. I sat up slowly and looked around the room. The gang wasn't there; they must have gone home sometime last night after I had passed out. And my brothers were no doubt in their rooms sleeping.

Feeling a pain of hunger in my stomach, I stood up from the couch and, in a spilt-second, was standing in the kitchen.

_Wait a minute,_ I thought to myself. I looked around at my surroundings. I was in the kitchen. _How is this possible? I was just in the living room._ Thinking I just imagined zooming into the kitchen, I shook my head and went over to the fridge. But instead of stopping in front of it, I slammed into the fridge full force. "What the hell?" I said, rubbing my head, that now hurt worse then before.

"Pony," Darry called from his room. "What's going on in there?"

"Nothing," I said quickly. It's not that I wanted to lie to Darry, it's just I didn't know what exactly was going on at the moment.

_First I go from the living room to the kitchen in under a second, _I thought, _and then I smash into the fridge._

Slowly, I backed away from the fridge and then concentrated hard while I walked to the table. I didn't hit anything. I walked around the kitchen a few times, making sure that I wasn't walking too fast, and again, I didn't hit anything.

"This is stupid," I mumbled to myself, as I finished my seventh lap around the kitchen. "There's nothing wrong with me." Then went to the fridge, grabbed out some eggs and started to make breakfast.

When the eggs and toast were all cooked, I placed the plates on the table and went to go wake up my brothers, and in a spilt-second, was standing in my room, right beside the bed where Soda was still fast asleep.

_Ok,_ I thought, frantically, _there is no way that I walked here in that amount of time. Am I going crazy, or am I …super fast?_ I quickly turned around to face the door and decided to run to the kitchen, and in under a second, I was standing by the table.

Then, with a big grin on my face, I ran to the living room and was there in an even shorter amount of time.

_Holy cow, this is cool! Maybe I should put this to the real test._ I pictured the lot and then was running so fast, that everything around me was a blur and in a couple of seconds, I was standing there….in the lot.

"This is crazy," I said to myself. "I've got to tell Soda and Darry." And in three seconds, I was back beside my bed, Soda was still asleep.

"Soda, Soda," I called him, shaking his arm. "You've got to wake up."

Soda shook my hand off of himself. "Go away, I've got a headache."

"So do I," I said and then realized something. Me and the gang all had that beer last night. The beer that Two-Bit had found by some construction site. What if there was some radioactive stuff in that beer that made whoever drank it develop weird powers.

It sounded crazy, I knew that, but I just ran to and from the lot in under ten seconds, so I was up for an explanation there was.

"Soda, you _really_ have to get up," I said again and then ran to Darry's room. "Darry get up, something's happened."

Darry bolt up in bed. "What? Are you hurt? Is Soda is ok?"

I smiled. "I have no idea."

Darry's face grew stern. "I'm not in the mood for games Pony."

"This isn't a game. I think I have superpowers."

"Are you serious?"

"I'm positive. I woke up this morning and ran super fast into the kitchen."

"That is the last time I ever let you drink," Darry said, lying back down into his bed.

"Darry, you have to believe me." I jumped on his bed and sat over top of him. "I'm not making this up."

"Pony, come on." He tried to push me off him. "I have a headache, just leave me alone."

"I have a headache too Darry, and so does Soda, don't you get it? It's from the beer. I bet the rest of the gang has headaches too _and _they probably have some sort of superpower."

"Ponyboy, I'm serious, knock it off," he said, angrily.

"But, Darry, you don't understand. You see-" I stopped mid-sentence and just stared at Darry's face.

"What?" Darry asked. "What are you looking at?"

I pointed at him. "Your face, its growing hair."

Darry rolled his eyes. "Just because you don't have facial hair yet, doesn't mean other people can't have it."

I stood up. "No, I mean your whole face is growing hair!"

"What?" Darry exclaimed and ran out of his bed and straight to the bathroom. I followed him, but didn't use my super speed. I didn't want to freak him out anymore. "Oh my god!" Darry screamed into the mirror. "My face."

My mouth dropped. In the time it took Darry to get to the bathroom, his whole face was covered with dark brown hair that was fairly long. And to make matters worse, his arm hair was growing rapidly too. He looked almost like a werewolf.

"Pony, what's going on?" he demanded.

"I don't know. Alls I know is that I woke up this morning and could run to the lot in three seconds flat."

"I mean it, Pony," he yelled. "Tell me what's going on!"

But before I could answer, Soda came into the bathroom, rubbing his forehead. "What the hell are you two yelling at?" Then he caught site of Darry and his eyes became wide. "Darry, what-"

"I don't know what happened."

Soda turned to me. "What's going on here?"

"It's the beer," I said. "I think we all got some weird kind of superpowers.

"That's insane," Darry continued to yell. "There are no such things as superpowers."

"Darry," Soda said, annoyed. "Calm down." And in that instant, Darry's face unhardened and all of his newly grown hair became shorter until it was all gone.

"Did you see that?" I asked. "Darry's hair disappeared when he calmed down. And when he yelled at me before, that's when it started to grow. Maybe he grows hair when he's angry."

Soda laughed. "He's like the _Hulk_, only hairier and less green."

"This is crazy," Darry said. "I can't grow hair when I'm angry and then lose it when I'm not."

Soda shrugged. "Only one way to find out. Darry; get mad about something."

A second later, Darry turned to me, his face angry. "Ponyboy, so help me, if you don't explain what's going on," his face and arms were growing thick hair again, "you are going to be in big trouble."

"Alright," Soda said, "Now calm down."

Darry's face relaxed and the thick hair disappeared.

"Looks like Pony's right, Dar."

"But I don't get it," I said. "Growing hair isn't a good superpower. Maybe he also gets stronger."

"So we're still think _Hulk _here then?" Soda asked. "Darry, try to rip the door off it hinges."

Without even a second thought, Darry grabbed the door and pulled, but nothing happened.

Darry looked a bit disappointed. "Guess I'm not super strong."

"Nope, just super ugly," Soda laughed.

"But the _Hulk _was only strong when he was big and green," I pointed out.

"Fine," Soda said. "Darry, get mad and try to rip the door off."

Darry starting yelling again (this time not at me, but about working too much) and his hair started to grow back. He grabbed hold of the bathroom door and ripped it off, almost hitting me and Soda in the head.

"Whoa, Darry, calm down," Soda said and Darry relaxed.

"I was right!" I exclaimed. "He is super strong."

"Ok," Darry said calmly, "let's say that I do have this….weird superpower and that it did come from that beer we drank last night, what about everyone else?"

"They probably have a superpower too," I said, trying to think of what the rest of the gang's superpowers would be.

"Well, what's mine then?" Soda asked.

I thought about it for a second, and then it hit me. "You made Darry do what you wanted."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did. You told Darry to calm down and he did, right away. And then when you told him to get mad, he immediately got angry. And when you told him to rip off the door, he did it, even though Darry would probably never do anything like that."

Soda took this all in. "Do you honesty think that I have some sort of….compulsion?"

Darry shrugged. "I grow hair and become strong when I'm angry. And Pony's right, I would never have ripped that door off if he or anyone else had asked me too."

"Just tell one of to do something that we wouldn't normally do," I suggested.

"Ok," Soda agreed and then thought for a moment. Suddenly he smiled and turned to Darry. "Do the chicken dance." At that instant, Darry started to dance like a chicken.

"So, I think it's safe to say that Soda has the superpower of compulsion," Darry said as he flapped his arms like a chicken.

Soda and I didn't say anything; we were too busy laughing our heads off.

"Ok Soda, you can make me stop now," Darry said.

We continued laughing.

"Yup, any day now."

"Sorry Darry," Soda said, wiping tears from his eyes. "You can stop dancing now."

Darry stopped flapping his arms. "Thanks."

"That was too funny."

Darry ignored Soda. "We need to get a hold of the other guys and get them over here so we can figure out what we're going to do."

"I'll start calling them," I offered. "You take care of Soda. I don't think he's going to stop laughing anytime soon."

I called all of the gang and told them to come over to our house straight away. I didn't tell them about superpowers or anything like that, just in case some of them didn't know they had one yet. But as it turns out, everyone had already figured out the power. Well, everyone except Steve.

As it turns out, Steve's power allows him to control cars. He actually figured out his power on the way to our house. When I told he had to come over right away, he thought there was an emergency and hopped in his car. And because he was in such a hurry, he made his car go super fast (like me running, super fast), and got here in about seven seconds and nearly had a heart attack because he didn't know what had just happened.

Dally, on the other hand, nearly jumped for joy when he discovered his power. He was sleeping in a room at Buck's, when someone started knocking on his door for him to get up. When Dally kept on ignoring him, the guy opened his door, but before he could come into the room, Dally shot his hands out in front of him and the door (plus the wall it was attached to) was blown backwards. So basically, Dally can shoot invisible force waves out of his hands. He also told us that, while trying out his new power, he successfully blew away half of a solid brick building. He was still laughing about it when he came over.

Two-Bit's power is perfect for him; he can control technology. He discovered this when he was sitting on his couch this morning and was too lazy to get up and turn on the TV. All he did was think about how much he wanted the TV to be on, when all of a sudden, it turned on by it's self. Then he used his mind to change channels and turn the volume up and down. And when he was done telling the TV what to do, he practiced turning on and off the lights, changing the radio signal, entering random cooking times on the microwave without getting up and even setting off random car alarms.

Johnny also found out about his power before he came over, but it was kind of upsetting the way he found out. This morning, he dad was beating him and yelling at him for no reason, when all of a sudden his dad was freaking out because Johnny disappeared. He didn't vanish or anything, but as it turns out, Johnny can blend in with anything, or in other words, become invisible. He didn't understand what was going on until he walked in front of his mirror and didn't see himself. He got really creeped out and then managed to make himself reappear. When he was finally sure about what he was able to do, he made himself stay invisible until I called him over.

"I told you there was something special about those beers," Two-Bit said.

"Good for you Two-Bit," Darry said. Even though he won't admit it, he doesn't really like his power. I mean, I guess he likes being strong, but he doesn't like become all hairy. When everyone was showing off their superpowers, Darry's was the only one people thought was funny. I felt sort of bad.

"I think we should become superheroes."

"I ain't become no damned superhero," Dally said.

"Come on guys," Two-Bit said. "We could fight crime and wear costumes."

"And I ain't wearing a costume," Dally added.

"I think it's a cool idea," Soda said. "We can have superhero names and everything."

"Now we're talking," Two-Bit said, excitedly. He quickly grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil. "We shall call ourselves-"

"Two-Bit," Dally said. "Not everyone is up for this idea."

Two-Bit put down his paper and pencil. "Show of hands, who wants to be a superhero?" Everyone but Dally and Darry put up their hands. "Majority rules."

"Alright fine," Darry said. "I'll be a superhero."

Everyone looked at Dally. "Fine," he said. "But I'm not wearing tights."

"Excellent." Two-Bit picked up his paper and pencil again. "Now, as I was saying; we shall call ourselves…_This Insiders_."

"_The Insiders_?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, cause we're superheroes and we'll have the inside scoop on what's going on in the world." There were blank stares. "Hey, I got the beer, I pick the name."

"Whatever."

"Now, that was just our group name, now we need individual names. My name will be _Gigabyte_, because I can control technology with my mind and gigabytes have to do with technology." Two-Bit turned to Darry. "Your superhero name will be…._Harry_, because you turn hairy when you're angry." He quickly scribbled the name down.

"You are so creative," Darry said sarcastically.

"Ponyboy," Two-Bit turned to me. "You are super fast, kind of like you have high horsepower, so your name will be…._Horse Man_."

"….Thanks," I said, not too sure how much I actually like my hero name.

"Dallas, you can push people with your strong, invisible force, kind of like how a mallet uses its strong force to make things flat. And since mallet sound like _mallas, _your hero name is, _Mallas._"

Dally didn't say anything.

"Now Sodapop, you can compel people using your sweet voice and your sweet face. You are so sweet that you remind me of a sweet brand of soda. Your hero name is…._Cream Soda._" Two-Bit laughed. "You get it, cream soda is sweet, and so are you?"

"Honestly Two-Bit," Steve said. "Darry – Harry? Ponyboy – Horse Man? Dallas – Mallas? Sodapop – Cream Soda? All you're doing is taking our names and twisting them into superhero names."

"Fine. You and Johnny will have superhero names that don't have to do with your normal names. Not like there are any good hero names to go with Johnny and Steve anyway," Two-Bit said and then looked at Johnny. "Your name will be _Shadow_, because you disappear into your surrounding whenever you want, like a shadow does when the sun comes out."

"Why not just call him, _Invisible Man_?" Soda asked.

"Because _Shadow_ is cooler," Two-Bit said simply. "And now Steve. Your name will be _Ferrari_, because you can make a car go super fast, just like a Ferrari goes fast. Well, actually you make cars go faster than a Ferrari, but seeing as there is no car on earth that can go super fast normally, we'll just stick with _Ferrari_." Two-Bit finished writing down the rest of the names and when he finished, he put down the paper and pencil and looked at the gang.

"What now?" Soda asked.

Two-Bit smiled. "Now, we go out into the world and kick some bad guy ass."

**A/N: **So i'd love to know what you guys thought about it. This chapter was quite long, and i hope the future chapters will be long too (though they may not be as long as this). And sorry for the crappy superhero names, i couldn't think of really good ones! P.S. They get costumes in the next chapter...or at least they will when i write it! :D

Reviews are always welcome and i thank those of you who review in advance!


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